


Lately I'm Haunted

by 7_Magpies



Series: Shyan Song Fics [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Cuddling, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Realizing Feelings, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed, Song fic, Sort Of, sharing a sleeping bag doesn't have a tag, song: SOS (Overboard) (Joseph), that's my favorite tag in case you can't tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: Ryan is trying to come to grips with his own emotions. One trip to a haunted house forces him to.This is a song fic based on "SOS (Overboard)" by Joseph. It's a standalone with no relation to the previous works in this series.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: Shyan Song Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857880
Comments: 5
Kudos: 104





	Lately I'm Haunted

**Author's Note:**

> DIsclaimer: This is fiction. None of this has ever happened, and I'm not trying to say it did.
> 
> I highly recommend listening to the song before reading, and let me know if you like it!

_ “You don’t see me _

_ My eyes are closing, _

_ I swear you can’t see me _

_ I want you close but _

_ My arms are holding me back. _

_ I wait for you, _

_ But hold my eyes shut. _

_ You don’t see me, _

_ But come here close _

_ Tear my hands down, _

_ Pull off the blinds. _

_ Look me in the eyes.” _

Ryan is not in denial, thank you very much. He just doesn’t have feelings for Shane. The taller man is goofy, weird, and maybe sort of attractive at times, but that doesn’t mean he  _ likes _ him.

Curly is trying to argue this point with him for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“Look, Ryan, babe, there’s no need to have a gay crisis, okay? So what, you have a crush on your best friend-slash-coworker. Who cares?”

“I care. And it’s not a ‘gay crisis,’ okay?” He wishes he could just disappear into his office chair or just walk away. But he has too much work to do and Curly seems to refuse to leave Shane’s seat.

“Just think about it, okay? Like, really let yourself think about it. Don’t scare yourself off before you actually consider it.”

He runs his hands through his hair, messing up the product he had put in that morning but not really caring. “Why are you so convinced I like him, anyways?”

Curly scoffs, leaning forward in Shane’s office chair. “Do you want a specific? I have a list. How about the fact that every time he has worn a turtleneck you’ve contrived some reason to reach over and touch it?”

Ryan feels himself start to redden. “I- I just-”

“It’s okay, if the way he clammed up when you were dressed as Indiana Jones is any indication, then you’re not alone on this. Just think about it, alright?” 

Ryan groans. “Yeah. Sure. Okay. I’ll think about it. Some time. Not today though, because we’re leaving in a few hours to go stay on-site somewhere for Unsolved.”

“Ooh,” Curly raised his eyebrows. “Can you tell me where?”

“That wouldn’t be fair,” came a new voice. Both men looked up to see Shane walk up holding two cups of coffee. “Can I help you, Curly?” 

Curly winked at Ryan and stood out of Shane’s seat. “Just pressing Ryan for details about the upcoming season. His lips are sealed though. Try and keep him from pissing himself, Shane!” Curly pat the taller man’s shoulder and went off to his own desk, winking at Ryan over his shoulder as he left. 

_ “I know you’re something. _

_ I know you’re something real. _

_ Lately I’m haunted,  _

_ These shadows hold me here.” _

Shane sat in his seat and handed Ryan his coffee. “You look like you needed a pick-me-up,” Shane said.

“Thanks, man.” He sipped from the mug, hoping to hide the blush he felt cross his cheeks. Luckily, Shane didn’t seem to have heard the conversation or be looking at him too closely. He was wearing that accursed turtleneck that Curly had mentioned, and Ryan felt himself want to tug at it again like he had earlier that day when he first saw Shane, but his arm refused.  _ I don’t have feelings for him _ . 

Just then Shane turned to meet his eyes. “I’m about to start wrapping up, then we can go to your definitely-very-haunted location. You almost ready?”

Ryan nodded, smiling at his friend. “And I hid the spirit box so you can’t find it and try to hide it.”

The taller man groaned, but his lips were still turned up in a smile. “Damn, you saw through my cunning plan.”

“More like I heard you and Teej plotting.”

Shane laughed, his eyes crinkling. 

_ Dammit. Maybe I do. _

_ “Screaming underwater, SOS _

_ Can you hear me calling? SOS _

_ Did it to myself, now I need your help. _

_ Alone and overboard yelling SOS.” _

Several hours later, they were at the haunted house and the crew was leaving for their hotel. 

“This place is creepy,” Ryan said, looking around.

“Yeah, I mean, what buildings don’t have central heating nowadays? I’m getting kinda chilly.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “What happened to your Midwestern ability to handle the cold?” He teased.

“Hey, I’m just kinda chilly. You’re gonna freeze your ass off tonight,” he pointed out, grinning evilly.

“Shut up, Shane.” He was right, though. The sun wasn’t even down yet and he was getting chilly. “Wanna walk around outside while it’s daylight? We can go to the location where the woman hung herself.”

Shane chuckled. “Wow, how could I say no to that?”

“Race ya!” Ryan took off out of the house and ran quickly towards the tree the guide had pointed out.

“You’re an actual child!” Shane called from behind him, but he was laughing and Ryan heard his feet hit the ground as he took up chase. 

“Put those long legs to work, big guy!” Ryan yelled over his shoulder. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, though.

“Ryan! Stop!”

“You’re gonna have to try harder!” He was starting to get short of breath from taunting and laughing, but still put on more speed.

“Ryan!”

Shane’s scream was cut off by the sound of a crunch beneath Ryan’s feet. He tried to stop himself, but started sliding. Before he knew what was happening, he was in water, and it was  _ cold. So cold. _ He tried to scream, but he didn’t have enough air in his lungs. Panic was starting to set in and he tried to find the opening to the air, but it was so dark.

After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, he felt a strong grip on his arm and was being pulled up. He sputtered as soon as his face was in air, and he tried to slow his breathing. After a moment, he realized half of what he heard wasn’t his own breathing, but was Shane. He was laying atop his friend. 

“What happened, dude?”

Shane seemed to finally have caught his breath enough to speak. “Are you alright?” He didn’t make any move to push Ryan off of him, and Ryan’s muscles were too stiff to do it himself.

“I think so? What just happened?” 

“Don’t you remember the owner warning us about the ice?”

Ryan racked his brain before finally realizing what Shane was talking about. “Oh, my gosh, I didn’t hear her. She had been talking about where people saw the ghost of that woman that hung herself just before, and I was too busy thinking about that, and-” his teeth were chattering too much to continue. 

Finally, Shane started to pull the both of them up. “Can you walk?”

Ryan nodded, but his leg gave way underneath him.

“Here, I’ve got you.”

Before he could even protest, Shane had bent over and put his arm against the back of Ryan’s legs, and had him held bridal-style, making his way back to the old house they were staying in.

“How can you carry me so easily?” Ryan asked. His teeth were still chattering, and his wet clothes were freezing against him, but being held against Shane’s chest was helping.

“I’m stronger than I look.”

“You’d have to be, noodle-arms.”

Shane chuckled, and Ryan knew it was a pity laugh. He was too cold to come up with any good jokes at the moment. They had reached the front door, and Shane deposited him on the couch and turned to the fireplace. “You need to take those clothes off. Change into some dry ones. I’ll get the fire going. Let me know when you’re done.”

Ryan did as he was instructed, and peeled his shirt off to put the t-shirt and hoodie on. He couldn’t make his fingers close around the zipper of his jeans, though and muttered under his breath.

“Everything okay?” Shane asked. 

Ryan looked up and saw that Shane still had his back turned, but the fire was going pretty well. “Yeah… No. I can’t… this stupid zipper.” He groaned, his fingers hurting from trying to close around the small metal pull. 

Shane turned around. “Do you need help?”

Ryan thought for a moment.  _ I can’t get it myself. But if he takes my pants off, what will that lead to? It’s not a big deal. It’s just your pants.  _ Finally, Ryan nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly.

His friend stepped over to him and sat on his knees, and Ryan took a moment to note how strange it was to be able to look down at the top of Shane’s head. He tried to focus on that instead of the fact that Shane was on his knees in front of him pulling his pants down.  _ Don’t go down that train of thought. Nothing good lies down there. _

For his part, Shane was almost professional. He unzipped Ryan’s pants and pulled them down to his ankles, directing him which foot to pick up, and pulling the jeans off of his feet. Ryan had to rest his hands on Shane’s shoulders for this, unable to balance on one leg for long enough. Finally, Shane stood and turned back around. 

Ryan pulled his boxers off and pulled on his change of clothes. “Wish I’d brought a towel,” he muttered, trying to lighten the situation.

“I guess the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is right,” Shane joked.

Ryan groaned. “You’re seriously making Hitchhiker’s Guide jokes?”

“Come on, it was a perfect reference.” 

It felt strange, having a conversation with Shane while facing his back. “I’m done, now.”

Shane turned back and looked Ryan over. “Your lips are blue.” He put the back of a large hand against Ryan’s cheek, and Ryan swallowed stiffly at the gentle touch. 

“Here, lie down in your sleeping bag in front of the fire.”

Ryan nodded and unrolled his sleeping bag. “How do you know what to do?”

“I was a boy scout, remember?” he answered with a grin.

“Guess that was actually a good thing, huh?”

“Looks like. Now shut up and lie down. I’m gonna get some of those sandwiches we brought, you need to eat.”

Shane left and Ryan curled up in his sleeping bag, alone with his thoughts.  _ What would I do without him? _

_ “My hands are shaking, _

_ Nobody’s been here before _

_ Oh, will you see me, _

_ Is it enough? _

_ Will you wake up? _

_ Pull back the blinds. _

_ Look me in the eyes.” _

Shane came back in, handing Ryan a sandwich. “Don’t eat it too fast.”

Ryan nodded and started eating, watching Shane as he did. “Your hands, they must be cold,” he said after a moment. “You had to reach in to grab me.”

Shane shrugged from his seat on the couch. “Are you feeling better?”

“Mostly. I’m still kind of cold.” His hands were shaking, and he tried to put them under his arms to warm them up. “Aren’t you?”

“A little bit.”

They were quiet for a moment before Shane spoke. “Do you want me to lie down with you?”

Ryan looked up in surprise. “I- That would probably be best for both of us. Right?”

Shane nodded. “But if you don’t-”

“It’s fine. Come here, big guy.”

Shane squeezed into the bag next to Ryan, and at first Ryan tried to keep some space between them, but quickly realized that was entirely out of the question. 

“Look, Ry, we’re gonna have to cuddle. Don’t worry, I’ll erase the footage.”

Ryan nodded. “Okay.” He situated himself so he was lying on his stomach, chest-to-chest with Shane, his face against the taller man’s shoulder. “I’ve never tried to share a sleeping bag with anyone,” he said softly, careful not to be too loud since he was practically speaking into Shane’s ear.

“You know you’re a lot lighter than all those muscles make you look,” Shane said casually.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?”

Shane shook his head, his chin bumping against the side of Ryan’s head softly.

“I’m gonna put my arms around you, alright?” Ryan noted that this voice sounded like Shane was talking to a wounded animal. Afraid he’d run away. 

“That’s fine,” he said softly.

And it was. Shane’s arms were warm around Ryan’s waist. He felt safe. Secure. It was strange, curling up like this with someone so much larger than himself, of course. But it wasn’t bad. It was nice, really. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe we should do this more often,” Ryan joked. But it didn’t feel like a joke. 

“Maybe. You’re still freezing cold.” Shane’s hands started rubbing against Ryan’s back, generating heat.

Ryan shivered. From the cold or the touch, he wasn’t sure. 

_Is this what dating Shane would be like? Cuddling, him being gentle?_ _Damn you, Curly._

“It’s getting late,” Shane said. “Do you… I mean… Do you want me to sleep here?”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. You’re warm.”

He felt rather than saw Shane’s smile. “If you get too hot in the night let me know, okay?”

“I will.”

He yawned, but tried to stifle it. 

“Go to sleep, Ryan. Good night.”

“Night.”

_ “I know I want you _

_ But I’m drowning in fear. _

_ I’m finally ready, _

_ Help me up out of here.” _

Ryan woke up the next morning with Shane still underneath him.  _ What the- Oh. Right. _

The events of the previous day hit him, and he felt panic from the memory of falling through the ice. 

“Ryan? You awake?”

Ryan nodded, not quite trusting his voice.

“Are you warm?”

“I’m warmer,” he said quietly. 

Shane pulled back, moving Ryan by his shoulders so he could see his face. “Are you alright?”

Ryan nodded, rubbing his eyes. “I’m just- I remembered falling in yesterday- I panicked a little bit- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Ryan.” Before he knew it, Shane had pulled him back down to his chest and had his arms wrapped around him again. “I’m here,” he said softly.

_ That’s scaring me too. _

“I know,” he said out loud. “I know you are.”

They lay like that for some time. “Ryan, are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I’m better. Still a little cold. Nothing like yesterday, though.”

“The fire’s gone out. Let me up.”

They shifted around for a moment and Shane eventually pulled himself up out of the bag and rekindled the fire. “It’s only six. The crew won’t be here for another couple hours.”

Ryan nodded. “Shane?”

“Yeah?” he answered without turning around.

“I’ve really gotta tell you something.”

“What’s up?”

Ryan didn’t answer, and waited for Shane to turn and face him. Apparently he looked nervous because Shane’s face fell. “Ryan? What’s wrong?”

Ryan sat up in the bag, squeezing his legs to his chest. “I’ve… I’ve kinda been in denial of this. I realize it now. But now that I know I’ve really got to tell you before it gets out of hand.”

“What is it, Ryan?” Shane’s voice had so much concern in it, Ryan thought he was going to start crying. 

“I think… No. I know it. I’m in love with you. I don’t know how long. If you don’t want to work with me anymore I get it, I just had to level with you.”

“Ryan, look at me.” 

Ryan pulled his gaze up to Shane’s eyes, afraid of what he was going to find. He wasn’t expecting the softness he found there, though. His friend had moved closer, sitting on the floor so their faces were level. 

“Can I kiss you?” It was barely even a whisper.

Ryan nodded, not trusting his voice.

Shane’s lips were softer than he anticipated, and the stubble felt weird against his face, but he melted immediately at the gentleness. It wasn’t a particularly deep or passionate kiss, but it made Ryan’s heart stop. Shane pulled back, smiling. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of doing that.” Shane’s large hand was on Ryan’s face, cupping his cheek, his thumb stroking Ryan’s cheekbone. “No idea,” he repeated, voice barely a whisper.

Ryan leaned into the touch. “How long?”

“Since I saw you? Since I realized how amazing you are? Years, Ryan.”

“I… I never knew.”

“I don’t see how, I’ve not exactly kept it on the down-low.”

Ryan smiled, taking Shane’s hand and pressing it to his lips, kissing Shane’s palm. “I was in denial of my own feelings. Made it easier if I thought you didn’t have any.”

Shane nodded. “Can I kiss you again?”

Ryan answered by meeting his lips, mouth and tongue searching. It was a much longer kiss than the first one, more searching and explorative. 

After a moment, they finally pulled apart, and Ryan realized Shane’s hand was in his hair. 

“Just as soft as it looks,” Shane said fondly, his fingers tangling in the strands.

Ryan smiled up at him, and took Shane’s other hand between the both of his. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Shane replied. “It feels good to be able to say it.”

Ryan shivered slightly. 

“Are you still cold?” Shane’s face shifted into an expression of concern.

“Yeah. Hold me.” It wasn’t a question.

They returned to how they had slept, but this time Ryan buried his face in Shane’s neck, kissing his jawline softly.

Shane stroked Ryan’s scalp. “We’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do when they realize we never actually did any ghost hunting.”

“I don’t care,” Ryan replied. “Tell them I got injured. Tell them we didn’t find anything. I don’t care.”

Shane smiled. “Sounds good.”

“Hey, Shane?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For taking care of me. For making me see what was right in front of me. I felt like I was wearing blinders, or like I had my hands up over my eyes. You pulled them off.”

“Hey, I just tried to help keep you from hypothermia.”

“No, not just that. You see me. You always have. I don’t know how else to explain it.” Ryan pushed up and shifted so that he could look Shane in the eyes. “You just… see me.”

“Damn straight I do,” Shane said with a smirk.

Ryan cupped Shane’s cheek in his hand, his thumb settling on Shane’s lower lip. “You know what I mean?”

“I think I do.”

Ryan kissed Shane’s lips again. “When we get back to LA and I get warmed back up, we’re gonna do a lot more than just cuddling. If you want?”

The corner of Shane’s mouth turned up mischievously. “Do you even know what went through my mind when I took your pants off last night?”

Ryan just laughed. “Trust me, I think I have a good idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments feed my soul!
> 
> If you have a prompt or song rec for a future fic, I would LOVE to hear it! Comment here or send me a message on tumblr at in-between-sleep-and-awake


End file.
